So... any single ladies out there?

All right First Years. There are a few things you need to learn.

1. I'm God, but I go by the name of Matt.
2. Don't touch my shit if you want to keep your finger prints.
3. If you ever pass up the chance to see a naked girl, you'll get a visit from the fag fairy.

You know why bad things happen to people? Because you're obviously touching yourself at night when Jesus is watching. He doesn't want to see that shit.

So maybe next time you could shout out a warning and you won't almost die.

Apparently I look hotter today according to some of the girls.


[[ooc; Chace Crawford!PB for Matt.]]

I can't see my floor.

You know what, screw this, it's too hot for pants. Today is no pants Thursday.

ALFRED AND RAIMEI WERE MAKING BABIES IN A CLOSET LIKE PROFESSOR NIA AND PROFESSOR SANZO!

This is some fucked up shit.

I thought that weekend was rather successful.

Alright losers, I'm jetting with Sengoku tomorrow so his mom can fill me with food for a few days.

Do I still get 25% of your chocolate Mello?

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck this shit, I expected heaven to be warmer.

So, Roger said I didn't have to go back to Wammy for Easter break. So I'm going to crash Sengoku's and hit on his mom, and sister, maybe if I get drunk, his girlfriend. Only if I get drunk, and desperate.

So... it's time for Matt's monthly list of who to fuck.

Maka; She's feisty and smart.
Tsubaki; Have you seen her shirt?
Anya; I bet she'd let you film it.
Dorthy; Has some nice hair.
Ciel; If you're feeling like you want some shota.
Death the Kid; He needs a good fuck.
Utena; She's fit.
Marta; If you're in to the loli.
Hiyori; Like Maka, she's feisty.
Galinda; Come on, who wouldn't?
Natalia; Bossy girls are hot.
Emil; Shota, again.
Raimei; Feisty, again.
Chidori; Totally in the library.
Yuuki; Seems a little too perky, but do-able.
George; She'd talk dirty.
The threesome; It would be like a new fuck every time.
Sena; He has that rapeable face.
Minato; I heard he's like butter.
Demyx; Who wouldn't want to fuck a guy with a mullet?
Alfred; Why not?
Bel; Not so much, but... I could get that drunk.
Yue; He'd so bottom.
Zero; Feisty.
Ahiru; Don't tell Fakir.
Misa; Pretty girl, not too bright though I think.
Orihime; Have you seen her shirt?
Bella; Nice girls are good.
Rikku; Nerdy sex times.
Alice C; ...That guy she's with all time is kinda angry all the time. So not so much.
Renge; She'd let you tape it.
Yamato; One day.
Fin; Hot legs.
Abby; I have a thing for black hair and pigtails.
Shinji; Sure, if I want an elbow in my eye.
Yoite; I bet he's a screamer.
Gau; He has a perm...
Near; I just want to see the look on his face for being on this list.
Rue; Don't tell Fakir.
Aerith; Nice girls, again, I like that.
Sengoku; Been there too many times.
Tamaki; Just to see him spazz.
Fakir; One day.
Axel; Who wouldn't want to fuck a guy with a name like that?



And that concludes this post.



[[ooc; SO, most of you guys weren't here when I originally played Matt, this was something he did a lot. Regardless of if he actually knows you.]]

Trip was awesome, macked on some nurses, got in trouble. A fairly successful weekend if you ask me.

I had the best group ever.

...Huh.

If you're all so sad about losing the babies, why don't you guys just make some yourself?

So... Apparently my list of shit I can't do got revised.

( At least I can still pistol whip )

So it's back to having the sex with dorm mates again, huh? If anyone fucking recalls what happened last time, I set that bed on fire.

I suggest burning the bed in the fifth year dorm if they had sex on your bed.

...Did shit go down or something? I missed something big, didn't I? That's what I get for smoking up behind the Herbology green house.